Sunday, May 27, 2012

"Why you foolin me?"

I probably shouldn't tell this story to the whole world (not really the whole world, but my world) cause it's gonna make me look real stupid. But I am anyway so here it goes.

My first day back at Uncle Bucks I was hosting cause of my foot and this family comes in. Well, I'm not much paying attention to them but this one guy starts talking about the fish tank (which I mean the fish tank is ridiculously big so it's a popular subject as people walk in the door) and so I chime in talking about the fish tank. Apparently that means I want this guy to flirt with me. That's actually not what that means at all, I was only making conversation cause I'm a nice person. Annnnyyyway, he then comments on my foot and asks how it happened so I tell him that I fell down the stairs blah blah blah.

This is where shiz goes south...

Okay, so he then asks me what my boyfriend thinks of this. And stupidly I say that I don't have a boyfriend (slaps myself in the face).

(SN: When one has been single as long as I have (21 years) it becomes a natural reaction to say that I don't have a boyfriend. I won't make that mistake again.)

Back to the story. His mind is just absolutely boggled that I don't have a boyfriend, which I'm not stupid, I know what he was trying to do there. Then he says, and I have to quote this because it makes me laugh/vomit in my mouth every time I think about it. He says, "Taylor, I wanna be your friend. Let me be your friend." I have plenty friends is what I should have said. Instead I said all sweet and innocent/please don't rape me right here..."okay."

I actually just slapped myself in the face after typing that.

Then he asks me for my number and because I'm such a nice person and I hate to come off as rude or mean, I gave it to him. Then he calls me as he's standing right there, which I knew he was gonna do. So I couldn't give him a fake. Then they sit down to eat and he's texting me while he's eating. This is our conversation...

Creeper: "You look tired."
Me: "My foot hurt."
Creeper: "I'll massage it for you promise."

I just couldn't bring myself to respond to that. Then they left and he said, "I'll be contacting you." Just kill me now. He texts me the next morning and says mornin. I didn't respond. He texts me later that day and says hey. I didn't respond. He texts me again the next morning and says mornin. I didn't respond. Then he texts me later that afternoon and asks what was the point of me getting his number if I'm not gonna reply. I didn't respond.

First of all...homeboy got MY number. Don't get it twisted!!

A couple days later I get a call from Vicksburg that I didn't answer cause it just seemed weird. Well I got a call from that number again a couple days ago and I answered it just out of curiosity. IT WAS HIM!!!

Me: "Hello?"
Creeper: "Why you foolin me?"
Me: "What?"
Creeper: "Why you foolin me?"
Me: "Who is this?"
Creeper: "Oh my god, it's (blank)."
...I choose not to use names.
Me: (hangs up phone)

I just don't  understand why I only attract the creepers. Luckily he hasn't called me or text me anymore. He better not show up at my work or I'll go crazy white girl on him. Just kiddding. I'll find someone else to.

But, lesson learned. Don't give your number out just because you don't want to be mean.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

"She put her fanny in my face."

Well a few things have happened since last I blogged. The major thing that occured was that I went to New Orleans. It was a blasty blast (Dane Cook reference)!
Road Tripppp with Cassie and Nikki!!
We went to New Orleans to celebrate Cassie's birthday! With any trip there are negative moments but I'm such a positive person that I made light out of the negative. We, of course, had to eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. because Forrest Gump is my all time favorite movie!
The Blue Hawaiian from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
Yummmaaayyyy!
After dinner, we hit Bourbon. The street, of course. I'm a not a complete alcoholic. The night was good but not great. We went to a club called The Beach and let's just say it wasn't a happy day at the beach. Some ho bag started getting all up in Cassie's face because she said Cassie didn't pay for the shot that she drank. I don't really know what all was said, but we left the beach and hit the streets. At this point my foot was starting to hurt because I recently cracked my fifth metatarsal. So, after walking around drunk for an hour we went back to the hotel and hit the sheets real fast.  
Hurricane on Bourbon St.
Day two of NOLA was a lot better than Day one. We woke around noon and decided that we needed some food in our bellies. We hit the streets and had no luck finding a place to eat. Apparently we were on the wrong street. Eventually we found a nice little joint and just enjoyed the scenery. 

(SN: Apparently people start drinking real early in New Orleans. I guess being from Mississippi, alcohol isn't our first beverage of choice for breakfast.) 

Anyway, after lunch, we decided to hit Jackson Square and get our palms read. Instead we had a terra card reading. I went first and all of my terra cards were very positive. I was pleased. She said that I need to have more faith in myself and in my choices. Also I need to get some type of pink stone and wear it around my chest because I let love out but I don't let love in. Therfore, I need this pink stone because it will open up my heart to love. Interesting. Annnnd she said I'm going to live a very long time. For some reason I feel like this means I'm gonna die real soon. We'll see.
I love this picture.
Second night on Bourbon.
  That night we hit Bourbon St. for a second time and it was such a great time. First, we went to The Cats Meow, which was my favorite part of the whole trip because it's a Karaoke bar and I LOVE KARAOKE! Cassie, Brooke, and myself sang Holla Back Girl by Gwen Stafanni (spelling may be wrong). After Karaoke and Boyfriend by Justin Beiber came on we decided it was time for us to continue our night.

Our night ended with us meeting a few guys from England. It was quite eventful. Damien said that my Irish Dialect was pretty good and honestly what more could a gal ask for other than that. He also said the word "fanny". My trip was made in that instant.

Our final day in New Orleans was spent shopping and eating. I got some cool sunglasses and a Bubba Gump shirt.

As soon as we arrived home I already missed being in New Orleans but then I quickly remember all the walking, the honking, and the smell and I was glad to be home.

That's all for now, folks. Until next time, stay classy.

Love,
Taylor Dunn

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hello...

My name is Taylor Dunn and I have a lot of thoughts that must be shared. So here we are. A lot of people constantly tell me how funny I am and how my life should be a book. Well, I decided that I'm gonna make my life a blog. I guess I'll start off by sharing some interesting facts about myself.

  • I currently go to the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) for Theatre. I love it so much.
  • I am currently sitting in bed because I recently fell down the stairs and fractured my fifth metarsal on the right foot and sprained my right ankle. I'm clumsy, you'll learn.
  • I love love love mexican food. I could eat it everyday, sometimes do.
  • I want to be an actress/talk show host/comedian when I grow up.
  • I'm 21 years old but refuse to see myself as an adult. That's just nonsense.
  • If I could entertain people for the rest of my life and make their lives a little better just by being me, that would be my most wonderful dream come true.
Well, there's a lot more to me, but that's all i can really think about off the top of my head. Summer just began and I plan on making this one a good one. I hope you enjoy my blog and all that goes on in my day to day experiences.

Lots of love,

Taylor